SEX, POLITICS, AND RELIGION

Walked into a pub sat at the bar next to a man with his face in a beer –struck up a conversation
I said why the long face he said it’s a long story I said I’ve got all day – he sighed in desperation
I said as long as your story doesn’t involve sex politics or religion my mother told me never to discuss such things – they only lead to confrontation
He said my story concerns those very three things they’ve consumed my life so it’s ok if you don’t want to listen – it’s no cause for celebration

So the man began his story but his eyes welled up and he started to cry I said – what’s your occupation?
He wiped his eyes and said my friend that’s where my problem begins I’m a politician – it’s the cause of my consternation
He’s telling his story but I couldn’t hear someone turned on the jukebox really loud – it was a cause of real frustration
The man cries again I said to the bartender can you turn down that damn jukebox he says – no need for aggravation

It’s alright, alright, everything is going to work out fine
It’s alright, alright, if the conversation’s football food or wine

I say to the bartender there’s no aggravation just turn down the jukebox he said not my problem I said – thanks for your co-operation
The barman said don’t be a smartarse I said well don’t be an arsehole the man began to wail – in a state of animation
Then the bouncer came over and said you and your friend have to leave I said he’s not my friend - it’s a case of discrimination
The bouncer said I don’t care and grabbed me by the collar frogmarched me to the door – so began the altercation

Then the door to the bar flew open and in came a hooker followed by a priest who said – it’s time for arbitration
The bouncer stopped swinging the politician stopped wailing the hooker and the priest took him by the arms I said – this needs some clarification
Next minute they were gone out the door the bouncer said what the hell just happened then I said – I have no comprehension
So my mother was right never discuss sex politics or religion especially with strangers in a bar – it’s no win situation

It’s alright, it’s alright, everything is going to work out fine
It’s alright, it’s alright, if the conversation’s football food or wine